Natalie Gould
My more than three-year journey from being severely cognitively and physically disabled to recovered health was the most difficult thing I have ever done.
That physical, psychological, and spiritual work transformed debilitating and terrifying suffering. As a result, I now feel more peaceful and whole than before my illness began.
This journey fuels my drive to assist others in transforming their own situation, whatever it may be.
Through creative works, teaching, retreats, and coaching I hope to bring more balance, healing, and wholeness into the world.
A Little About Me
I am a part-time farmer. I live on a few acres in Sonoma County, California.
I grow vegetables, fruit, and flowers. I spend a great deal of time talking with birds and animals. I enjoy observing the skies and slow changes in my trees.
I’ve also lived in San Jose, San Diego, and Santa Barbara. I spent 12 months in the Hebrides in Scotland on the Isles of Mull and Iona and nearly four years in Bologna, Italy.
I am a writer and a seeker of spiritual and philosophical truths.
I love hearing and telling stories.
I am curious and find delight in learning and discovering new things.
I love to laugh, share meals, swing dance, and listen to jazz.
My Background
My Portfolio of Skills
Here are my five favorite skill areas I use in my work:
Develop and Improve — Identify complex problems and their contributing root causes, and build solutions to overcome them.
Imagine and Create — Visualize physical and social environments: design spaces, projects, objects, workshops, events, and agendas to meet defined goals.
Write — Articulate experiences and ideas in the written word. Summarize and organize information, providing clarity and insight. Create narratives and prose for pleasure and inspiration.
Listen and Draw Out — Formulate good questions. Help others feel at ease, safe, and able to find connection, allowing them to see themselves, their feelings, and ideas more clearly.
Guide and Mentor — Perceive and identify potential in others, applying knowledge and experience to unblock, encourage, and lead others to positive growth.
Experience, Knowledge, and Education
I draw on a broad base of experience including everything from emptying rudimentary compost toilets in Scotland to 13 years as CFO for a micro-multi national.
During my 30-year professional career I’ve worked in the fields of theatre, baking, academics, outdoor education, pastoral ministry, and software development.
Common themes between this work are management, team development, and personal, professional, and spiritual coaching.
I have lead numerous workshops and retreats on topics like project management, communication, personality models, spiritual growth, and the creative arts.
My formal education includes a Bachelor of Arts in Theatre Design with a minor in Visual Arts from UC San Diego (Magna Cum Laude).
Informally, I have studied many topics including mindfulness meditation, qigong, philosophy, world religions, the Enneagram, neuroscience, psychology, gardening, cooking, social dancing, and creative writing.
For a more traditional resume, see my LinkedIn profile.
My Recovery Story
In July 2021, following a mild Covid infection, I developed severe dysautonomia, what is sometimes referred to as Long Covid. Dysautonomia includes a family of conditions like ME/CFS, POTS, and Fibromyalgia.
I was housebound for two years. Life was completely defined by the all-consuming illness. Human companionship, which I craved, in paradoxical cruelty, was not a comfort, but worsened my numerous symptoms.
It is a punishing, lonely condition, without respite. All activity, all stimulus — physical, cognitive, social —worsens the symptom burden. It felt intolerable much of those first two years to exist in either my mind or body.
While I did not plan my death, there were times I did not wish to go on living.
Tools of resilience and adaptability I had collected over the prior 45 years were useful, but not sufficient.
The work of recovery was incredibly slow: the entire journey from onset lasted three and a half years. It required great discipline, patience, and humility, and developing a deep understanding of the nervous system.
It required letting go and relinquishing control. I learned how to better care for all parts of my person: my body, mind, and emotional, spiritual, and social self. Every aspect of how I operated in the world was observed, remodeled, retrained, and where needed, replaced.
It is my greatest life achievement.
I would never choose this journey. But I have been changed by it. I would not want to give up that change.
I emerged back like my amaryllis bulb, which sat semi-dormant on my deck for years, and finally bloomed again in a spectacular burst of crimson.
The experience has filled me with gratitude and wonder at the great gift and mystery of life.
With however many more years I am granted, I hope to live in this continued sense of awe, bringing more wholeness, possibility, and hope into the world.